Trapped in Walmart
by captainxx
Summary: What happens when the nations get themselves trapped in Walmart. One word disaster. Multiple pairings. Rating may and probably will go up.
1. Chapter 1

**I'm writing this jus to keep creative juices flowing for mt other story, Silent for Never. It's a PruCan fic that I love to write. To keep up my creativity like I said I'm writing this. And the best part is I'm going to do anything and everything to the nations. My friend Snyder helped me come up with ideas for this, but I'm typing it. And Snyder had never heard of Hetalia! I had to explain it to her and she was hooked and helped with this. **

**Also my friend Maddy helped a lot with ideas too. And more ideas keep coming.**

**Well this is going to have multiple pairings. GiriPan, RusCan, Spamano, DenNor, SweFin, USUK, silght FRUK, slight Korea/China, slight Russia/China, GerIta, and some PruCan. Sorry I don't really do Greece/Turkey, but Turkey is definitely going to be in here and it against that is going to be slight with both of them. Also I'm going to add more pairings later on. Austria is going to be in it to but I don't know who to pair him with. Oh Sealand is there too~**

**Warnings: Throughout the story- Drugs, alcohol, Baby clothes, a dog leash, bombs, toilet paper, spy missions, shopping carts, Pet Smart, ducktape, Nerf guns, chess, Romano, and the Bad Touch Trio, a lot more to come though~**

**I don't own Hetalia.**

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Chapter 1: We. Are. In. Walmart.

The nations didn't know how they ended up there, but they knew for certain that this wasn't going to end well.

All of the nations woke up in Walmart.

"DUDE! WE'RE IN WALMART!" A very hyper american shouted successfully waking up everyone.

"Shut up you sodding git!"

"Mon dieu. What 'appened?"

"Aru?"

"Kolkolkolkolkolkolkol."

"Mi amigo, where are we."

"Keseseseses, I don't know but I'm still tired."

"What the fuck happened $#%&&*!"

"Ve~ Where's Germany?"

"Here Italia."

"Dat-zee!"

"Damn you America!"

"This is not cool. Like totally, like my skirt is getting dirty."

"Calm down Poland."

"But Liet..."

"M-mr.R-Russia?"

"Quiet Latvia."

"M-maple."

"I'll blast you full of holes!"

"..."

All of the nations woke up on the floor of... Walmart? They had no idea how they got there.

"Sweet you guys we're in Walmart!. Isn't that cool?!" America exclaimed to the newly awoken nations.

"No! Bloody hell, America how did we get here?!" England growled at him.

"How should I know, Iggy!" America whined.

"My name is not 'Iggy', you sodding git! I'm leaving." With that england stormed towards the exit.

"Oh Honhonhon~ I'll come to Mon chéri~" France cooed, catching up to England. You could clearly hear them arguing.

"Leave me wanker!"

"Oh but no love~"

"Stop it!"

"You don't like my love i'm 'urt!~"

"I don't want it in the first place!"

The rest of the nations stopped listening after that.

They were all confused about why they were in a Walmart when they were on their way to a world meeting that was being held in America. The most confused about is why they woke up on the floor and why was the Walmart void of any life, but themselves.

They only thought to blame it on America.

"You better tell us why we're here or else I'll turn you into swiss cheese!" Switzerland threatened, keeping Lichtenstein close, and pulling out his shotgun.

Before America could anser Italy squealed. "Ve~! Germany, Germany! Switzerland's gun is scary! Save me!" He then proceeded to hide behind Germany.

"Idiota! Stop acting like a pansy!" Romano scowled at him.

"Oh Lovi~ Stop acting mean." Spain cooed.

"My name is not Lovi bastardo!" Romano shouted at him.

England came storming over to America and began shouting. "You git! We're locked in! This must have been one of your ridiculous plans!"

"Yo dude what are you talking about? ...WAIT WE'RE LOCKED IT?!" America shouted the last part.

"I don't belive you!" England shouted back.

They were locked in. The nations were a mixture of confused, scared, angry, or stotic zoned the two out after the realization that they were trapped knowing their fighting was not going to end soon.

"Don't worry Iggy! It doesn't matter." America whined.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT DOESN'T MATTER! AND DON'T CALL ME IGGY!" England exploded on him and grabbed America's collar.

"I mean that this looks like the new Walmart that was just constructed. It's the Ultra Mega Walmart. It was made to bump sales and start a new chain of Walmarts." **(A/N sorry fans there is no Ultra Mega Walmart I came up with it.) **America explained.

"And that's supposed to help how?" England fumed while the other nations listened in, hoping America had a plan due to his 'It doesn't matter' comment.

"Dude what I mean is that this Walmart has new sections, a Mc Donalds, Pet Smart, lengthened tools and appliances sections, alcohol aisle, larger weapons selection, Music section, and a larger toy section! Can you belive it! And it's grand opening is tomorrow!" America giddied.

"So what you mean is that we are going to be let out tomorrow?" England started to calm down.

"Yep!" America struck a 'hero' pose.

England had fully calmed down now and finally noticed a hand on his hip sliding lower than he would have liked.

"GET YOU BLOODY FROG HANDS OFF ME FRANCE!" That's when England tried to choke France. Everything seemed normal now, except for one little detail. Germany decided to bring it up.

"Ve have a vay to get out, but how did ve get here?"

"I don't remember does anyone else know." America asked the other countries which consisted of:

Russia, The Baltics, England, France, Germany, Prussia, The Nordics, Switzerland, Belarus, Leichtenstein, Cuba, Greece, Japan, Italy, Romano, Spain, Austria, Hungary, China, Egypt, Turkey, Hong Kong, Poland, Scotland, Sealand, South Korea, and some ghost dude. WAIT GHOST!

"Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! GHOST! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" America shouted and hid behind England who had been pried from France.

"Vhat ghost?" Germany questioned.

"HIM!" America pointed to the 'ghost'.

"Amerika that is no ghost." Russia creepily smiled, sending shivers down all of the other nations backs.

America looked confused as well as sacred, but covered it up with his macho act. "THEN WHO ARE YOU?" He shouted at the 'ghost'.

"Al I-I'm C-canada. Y-your brother." the 'ghost' whispered, his eyes sad.

"Dude I have a brother!" America shouted, but not as loud as last time.

France, who had been too busy trying to re-latch onto England, looked up at the 'ghost' in question.

"Oh~" He cooed. "Amérique you do 'ave a brother this is mon petite Matthieu. You can tell because 'e 'as sexy 'air like moi." France stroked Canada's locks tenderly. Canada didn't have a problem with this since he grew up with France and was used to it.

"Bloody frog you might scare the lad from your perviness!" England scolded.

"Non, Matthieu loves papa and I used to dress 'im up in cute dresses. 'e looked so adorible~"

"How does he not scare you away?" England asked Canada with pure sympathy.

Canada had no time to anser before France answered for him.

"Mon petite adores 'is papa~"

That caused England to yell at France for interrupting Matthew and the two began fighting again.

* * *

_"This is going to be amazing!"_

_"I know, locking them in there will be hilarious."_

_"So far it seems they fight a lot. Perfect!"_

_"The cameras are set up and we'll get it all on tape!"_

_"Now lets sit and wait."_

* * *

**YESSSSSSSSSSSS. I love this I have about 3 pages of ideas for this.**

**REVIEW!**

**And did anyone notice that France uses a lot of squigles at the ends of his sentences?**


	2. Chapter 2

HI!

**Warnings: Throughout the story- Drugs, alcohol, Baby clothes, a dog leash, bombs, toilet paper, spy missions, shopping carts, Pet Smart, ducktape, Nerf guns, chess, Romano, and the Bad Touch Trio, a lot more to come though~**

* * *

Chapter 2: It begins

"BLOODY FROG!" England had resorted to strangling France.

Once the other countries found out that they were going to be let out the next day they decided to explore while they were there.

.

**With Russia- **

The Baltics stood in all black before Russia. Courtisy of the clothing Walmart offered, Latvia using boys sizes.

"Good da." Russia said with a creepy smile that made Latvia quake. "You three are going to spy on Amerika for me. While you are doing that I'm going to see if this piece of American trash has any vodka."

The Baltics didn't dare go against Russia's orders and went to spy on America.

"Da, now let's see where the vodka is." Russia began walking in random direction seeking out his precious vodka due to the fact that he did not plan to be locked in a godforsaked Walmart and only had two bottles of Russian water on him.

.

**With Japan- **

Japan had wanted some peace and quiet from the other nations, so he had headed towards the left side of the store and ended up in front of the entrence to Pet Smart. Pet Smart was connected to Walmart and seemed to be quiet. Because of this Japan walked in and began looking for a place to meditate and let go of some stress. Being locked in a walmart didn't help.

Japan soon came across one of the dog aisles. he looked for something to sit on and found a dog bed and decided it would suffice. He sat down and began meditating...

.

**With China-**

China had gotten away to hide as fast as he could. He did NOT want Korea to find him. This was not his day.

"YOUR BREASTS ARE MINE DA ZEE~" In an instant South Korea had found China and had groped his chest.

"AYYYYAAA! LET ME GO ARU!" China yelled and trieed to get out of Korea's grasp.

"NO THEY WILL BE MINE DA ZEE!~" Korea proclaimed.

Little did they know that Hong Kong was watching them and getting it all on camera before moving to record something else.

.

**With Sweden and Finland-**

"You want me to WHAT!" Finland almost screamed.

"I w'nt t' g't m' w'f'e s'm' dr'ss's." Sweeden said. Completly serious.

"B-but... " Finland still found Sweeden scary and could do nothing but stand there and give feeble attemps at resisting as Sweeden began picking out dresses.

Hong Kong had switched to video taping this before moving on.

.

**With Canada-**

"Uh... A-america wh-what are y-you d-doing e-eh?" Canada whispered.

"Huh?" America looked behind himself to see who was talking. When he saw who was there he began to freak out. "OH BURGERS MY DOPPLE GANGER FROM THE FUTUER IS HERE TO EXTERMINATE ME." And with that America grabbed the nearest thing and pointed it at Canada to 'protect' himself.

"U-h A-america it-it's me y-your b-brother and why a-are y-you h-holding a p-plunger e-eh?" The thing America had grabbed was incidently a plunger.

America looked closer at Canada with the plunger still raised. "Oh dude for a second there I thought I was dead! Your not my dopple ganger. Canadia look I'm making a throne because all heros need a throne.

Canada looked over to what America was making and saw pvp pipes and a lot of duck tape. Canada was confused because there was also a toilet seat.

He decided not to hang around and maybe find France. It was a bad idea since France wasn't afraid to grope his own son and did it often, but Canada had seen France having his 'rape face' on and looking hungrily at England before England ran from him. Canada might need to save England from his papa.

Hong Kong began following Canada knowing something good was going to happen.

.

**With North Italy and Romano-**

"THIS IS A FUCKING OUTRAGE!" Romano yelled and began the curse loudly in Italian.

Italy was crying. "What's with this passtaaaa!" He wailed.

Both of the Italies had decided to look around. And by that I ment that Italy dragged Romano through the Walmart. They had come across the frozen section where they held the frozen pre-made pastas. The brothers weren't happy.

Romano began cursing more. Italy didn't even know that Romano knew all of those words.

That's when Spain and Germany showed up to calm down the two... in two seperate ways.

Germany just distracted italy with a stuffed animal.

Spain on the other hand... he wrapped his arms around Romano's waist, sending the scowling Italian into another rampage of violent curses. It also didn't help that Spain picked him up bridal style and began skipping away...

.

**With The Baltics-**

To say the Baltics were confused would be an understatement.

They had no idea what America was doing and they began to think he was loon.

Estonia had his head cocked to the side and had a very vague ideas what the American was doing. It was completly idiotic. Duck tape could be used for better uses than building a throne.

Estonia's attention was averted to his right when he heard a squeak from Lithuania. As it turned out Poland was dragging the poor nation away with plans of going shoping.

Poor soul.

.

**With Greece-**

Once Greece heard there was a Pet smart he immediatly headded to it. He wanted his cats.

He walked through the Pet Smart and went by his instinncts to the back of the shop. There he saw many cats in cages that were there to be adopted. In a flash Greece had released them and was covered in cats.

"Hello... you're cute... aren't you." he said in his sleepily drawl and sat down. He petted the many cats on him and leaned back before going to sleep.

.

**With Russia- **

Russia had been looking through the vodka that the Walmart had when he felt someone bump into him. Russia looked down to see Canada on the ground. Russia was probably the only nation besides France that could recognize the blond immediatly. Russia distinctly remembered that he made quite a comfy seat.

The nation had distractidly bumped into Mother Russia.

Canada was scared to say the least. he had been looking for France and didn't see where he was going and had bumped into Russia knocking himself onto the floor. The thing was that he bumped into Russia. Canada hadn't met him personally, but heard stories from America. That is why he was shaking when the taller nation looked down at him with an all to knowing look in his eyes. Canada knew he wasn't going to get out of this.

"Oh Kanada. How nice it is to see you da. You have seemed to have bumped into mother Russia da?" Russia asked Canada.

"O-oui." Squeaked the Canadian.

"You need to learn a lesson."

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**Review.**


	3. Chapter 3

**imma dont think imma goin to continue this but Imma puttin up a poll for a next fanfiction so vote! **

******Warnings: Throughout the story- Drugs, alcohol, Baby clothes, a dog leash, bombs, toilet paper, spy missions, shopping carts, Pet Smart, ducktape, Nerf guns, chess, Romano, and the Bad Touch Trio, a lot more to come though~**

* * *

Chapter 3: More randomness, with plot!

**With Russia and Canada-**

Canada almost wet his pants to say the least. He looked to see Russia smiling childishly. In a split second Russia grabbed Canada's collar and began to drag him away towards... Pet Smart? Canada wasn't expecting that.

Russia dragged him down one of the dog aisles and they ran into Japan, who looked up. Japan was confused.

"Russia why are you dragging America-san?" He asked.

"This is Kanada and he needs to be taught a lesson. But before that will you become one with mother Russia?" Russia grinned at Japan making the poor nation shake and politley decline. Russia pouted, but gave up for now and turned back to Canada.

"Now lets see.." Russia pulled Canada a little more down the aisle before stopping in front of the shelves that held leashes and dog collars.

Canada had a bad feeling about this.

That's when Russia scanned the collars and picked a red one. The thing that surprised Canada and Japan who was watching them, was that Russia took the collar and put it around Canada's neck. Then he took a black leash and hooked it to the collar.

"There, da? You are now my dog." Russia smiled childishly.

"D-dog?" Squeaked Canada.

"Da. You are my dog, you will now follow me everywhere." Russia began pulling the very confused Canada by the leash.

Hong Kong finally found something entertaining.

.

**With Egypt, Turkey, and Greece-(A/N I know some of yall have been waiting for Egypt)**

To say Greece was annoyed would be the understatement of the century. He was peacefully sleeping when Egypt and Turkey walked up shouting at each other. Except Egypt he wasn't yelling, just keeping up the usual monotone Many people did not know this but Greece could sleep through an entire meeting without waking, but when Turkey or Egypt showed up they always ended up waking him.

Egypt was actually in a hate/love friendship with both of Greece and Turkey. Just didn't argue as much as the latters. He just plain didn't like Turkey, and he and Greece had fights about their gods. The thing was that Greece and Turkey only fought about Japan and who's better. Egypt never saw why they liked Japan.

Well Greece wasn't happy to be woken or the fact they scared of his cats.

"Why... did you... wake me?" Greece sleepily drawled.

"Great we ran into the cat idiot." Turkey yelled at Egypt. He must have used up all other names.

"Wasn't my fault!" Egypt spoke his usual stotic expression not broken. It was amazing he could argue like that.

"Well leave... me." Greece tried to keep his cool.

"NO!" The two demanded.

The three began arguing. Soon the yelled conversation had switched to Japan and Egypt lost interest. He stalked away looking for something entertaining.

.

**With France and England- **

England had ran from France not wanting to be molested more than he already was. France had followed in him and after many curses, denies of love, and turns they ended up at a dead end. England was trapped.

The worst part was he was trapped in the baby aisle.

"Bloody hell." He murmured.

"Honhonhonhon. It seems that you are trapped l'Angleterre~" France cooed and closed in on England.

England had to think quick or else he was as good as raped.

.

**With Switzerland- **

Switzerland had walked back to the hunting section, Lichtenstein in tow. Switzerland had wanted to see the types of guns this store offered. While browsing through the many rifles he was interrupted by a very loud off key singing.

.

**With America (and spying Baltics)- **

America stood back to admire his masterpiece. He had finished his PVC pipes and duck tape throne. It also had a toilet seat for the cushion. Perfect for a hero! America then sat down in the ten foot tall throne and raise his 'staff' (Toilet plunger).

And with that he began singing the American National Anthem. And it was REALLY off key.

"OHHHHHHH. SAYYY CAN YOU SEEEEEEEEEE!" America can't sing.

Too bad for Estonia and Latvia. They were only five feet away from the american and were having their ears assaulted by the horrid singing. If it could be called that.

America was in the middle of his song when Switzerland came up with a gun. It was the nearest to him when he dashed to kill America for blowing his eardrums out. A 22 Rifle to be exact. The bolt action wasn't fast, but it would do the job. A single shot fired barely missing America by the head.

Alfred stopped singing and panicked at being shot at, so he did the heroic thing. Ran.

"I'M RETREATING. THE HERO RETREATS AT SIGNS OF DANGER! HEROICALLY!" America yelled as he sped away, Switzerland on his heels, already loading a new round.

.

**With France and England- **

England was about 5 seconds away from doom.

The thing he didn't know was that his hero's would be in the form of Prussia and Spain.

They came up and began whispering into Frances ear. When they were done the three grinned evily.

"Well my love I have to go~ Big plans~" France cooed. He then skipped away.

England breathed a sigh of relief, but was worried about what the trio were going to do. It couldn't be good.

.

**With The Bad Touch Trio-**

Spain sat in one of the shopping carts. He was buried in toilet paper rolls. France and Prussia stood behind him, ready to run.

One the count of three they sped off down the various aisles. Along they way they threw the toilet paper. They teepeed the entire place. The three screamed "THE BRITISH ARE COMING! THE BRITISH ARE COMING!" over and over.

It was truly a spectical.

The nations covered in the white paper weren't happy though. It seemed that only the trio were having fun. Laughing their asses off.

.

**With Poland and Lithuania- **

"Liet this one would look good right? Like totally gorgeous!" Poland held up a pink skirt to show Lithuania.

Along with it were many other pile of clothing. Poland wanted Lithuania's consent on every single one. Lithuania has the worst luck...

* * *

_"I have to say this is hilarious."_

_"Ya we chose the right people."_

_"What idiots, I mean calling each other like a country, ridiculous!"_

_"It will be fun to watch though."_

_"Just a little longer."_

* * *

_**Ya I dont know what the hell imma doing. Imma just bored. This is born!**  
_

_**I know its crap but review!**_


	4. Chapter 4

**Imma sorry for the lateness blame school!**

**Imma on track now so please dont flame!**

**Axel: *Sets author on fire* Too late.**

**Hunny: *Beats up author***

**Craig: *Flips off author***

**Russia: *Beats author with pipe***

**Light: *Writes author's name in Death Note***

**Grell: *Goes after author with his badass scissors* **

**Leo: *Sets author aflame like Axel***

**More random book/anime/manga/cartoon characters come to kill author.**

**The poll is still up for what story i should start after Trapped in Walmart.**

**Warnings: Mainly Nerf guns (Need i say more?)**

* * *

Chapter 4: Nerf Guns

**With Denmark- **

Denmark had decided he was bored and came up with an ingenious idea. He walked up to one of the cash registers and picked up the phone that spoke on the intercom and began talking.

"_IT'S ME DENMARK AND THIS IS GETTING BORING! I PROPOSE AN IDEA! EVERYONE GRAB A NERF GUN FROM THE TOYS SECTION AND GET SUITED UP FOR BATTLE! WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A NERF GUN WAR! THE WINNER GETS ALL BRAGGING RIGHTS AND SUCH! GRAB A GUN AND MEET IN MC DONALD'S!"_

_._

**With... well everyone else- **

The other nations found Denmark's idea to be rather intriguing. In many ... different ways.

It gave England a chance to get away from France and beat his bloody frog face in with suction darts.

Finland used it as a way to get out of dress shopping with Sweden.

Lithuania used it in the same way as Finland; to get out of shopping with Poland.

Estonia and Latvia used it to get out of spying on America.

America just thought he could be the hero and beat everyone.

The Bad Touch Trio were arguing about who would be better at a Nerf Gun War and were going to use the actual war to decide it.

Switzerland just wanted to shoot America's head into the pavement.

Lichtenstein followed her brother.

Hungry wanted to get back at a certain Prussian for mocking her frying pan last week.

Turkey and Greece wanted to kill each other (Not that foam darts would do any good. They should have thought that through more.).

Japan was bored.

Egypt was also bored.

Norway wanted to kill his Danish boyfriend for no reason.(Chocking Denmark with his tie doesn't satisfy anymore. He'd rather use little orange darts. Great idea!)

Iceland followed Norway like a lost puppy. Not that he was!

Sealand (Who had been in the electronics aisle the entire time.) Wanted to get back at jerk England for claiming he wasn't an actual country.

Italy thought it sounded like a great idea and dragged Germany along.

Romano was dragged by Spain.

Cuba was going to do the same thing as Switzerland.

China was apparently America's support.

South Korea wanted to claim China's 'breasts'.

Austria found it very frivolous to join in so he hung out in the music section.

Scotland wanted to show his younger brother up.

Russia wanted to have something else to hang over America's head. And with Canada being his dog the Canuck had to be one Russia's team. (The Canadian had been a great sniper and Russia knew it. Bragging rights would be awesome. Great now he was sounding like Prussia.)

Hong Kong was going to video tape the entire thing and put it up on Youtube.

.

The nations went to the toy section where the Nerf guns were. Each nation grabbed a gun according to what they wanted. The countries also grabbed extra darts if they ran out.

Once 'suited up' the nations met up in Mc Donald's. There Denmark stood on a table with a bullhorn and began telling them the rules.

"IF YOU ARE HIT WITH A DART YOU'RE OUT! NO EXCEPTIONS! IF YOU GET OUT THEN GET YOUR ASS INTO PET SMART AND WAIT FOR THE WINNER TO BE DECIDED. WE WILL BE IN TWO PERSON TEAMS. IF ONE PERSON OUT OF THE TWO GETS OUT ON YOUR TEAM THEN THE OTHER PERSON ON THE TEAM IS OUT TO! TEAMS WILL BE CHOSEN AT RANDOM! WHOEVER YOU GET IS YOUR PARTNER! YOU CANNOT SWITCH PARTNERS! YOU ARE STUCK WITH THEM! NOW LETS DECIDE WHO IS PARTNERED TOGETHER! UH-" Denmark faltered due to the fact Russia was glaring at him. "EXCEPT RUSSIA HE CAN CHOOSE HIS TEAMMATE-" Denmark quickly added.

The other nations let out sighs of relief they didn't want to be paired with Russia.

"WELL THE FIRST TEAM IS..." Denmark reached into a top hat he had grabbed from the costume department. He had filled it with all the nations names to be fair.

The nations waited eagerly for the first team. The curiosity was overwhelming.

Denmark pulled out two names and read them into the bullhorn. "SOUTH KOREA AND SWEDEN!"

The nations looked at Denmark curiously. Sweden and South Korea. That was a strange pairing. **(A/N I actually put the names in a hat and chose randomly)**

Denmark began to read off more pairs. "SWITZERLAND AND TURKEY!"

"JAPAN AND GREECE!" Turkey shot a glare at Greece. **(A/N I did not plan that I swear I just randomly chose their two names out)**

"LATVIA AND LICHTENSTEIN!" Switzerland glared at Latvia and if it was even possible the small nation began to tremble more.

"SEALAND AND PRUSSIA!" The rest of the nations began to feel very sorry for Sealand. He was stuck with Prussia.

"NORWAY AND EGYPT!" Denmark pouted at this hoping to be paired with his boyfriend. Still he continued.

"ENGLAND AND CUBA!" This caused America to shout something around 'Haha Iggy is paired with the communist'. This caused Cuba to begin chasing him.

"FINLAND AND LITHUANIA!" No one really cared that they were paired together except for Sweden. He wanted his 'wife'.

"DENMARK AND SPAIN!... Oh that's me." Spain wanted to be with his little 'Lovi' but oh well...

"ITALY AND CHINA!" China inwardly groaned at this. He was too old to deal with a pasta obsessed idiot.

"SCOTLAND AND HUNGARY!" No one could even predict that.

"ROMANO AND GERMANY!" **(A/N Right now imma laughing up a storm. I cant believe that i accidentally chose those two!) **The countries found that they would have to worry about which of the two would come out of this alive. The two were sure to kill each other.

"ICELAND AND FRANCE! Sucks for you bro!" Denmark laughed at the compromising position his friend was in.

"POLAND AND ESTONIA! That should be our last pairing leaving Russia to choose who he wants to be paired with and America!" Denmark finished. He was implying that Russia and America were left to be partners.

"I'M NOT BEING PAIRED WITH THE COMMIE!" America shouted in realization.

"I agree with Amerika da? And I already have a partner Kanada." Russia raised up the leash that was connected to the collar around Canada's neck so that the other nations could see.

The countries didn't know who the small blond by his side was. Well until America shouted again.

"MATTIE! YOU CAN'T HAVE MY BROTHER YOU COMMIE BASTARD!"

"Well..." Denmark countered. "Russia gets to choose who he's with so your going to be in Poland and Estonia's group."

"NOOOOOOOO!" America wailed.

"WELL... YOU HAVE TWO MINUTES TO HIDE BEFORE YOU CAN SHOOT EACH OTHER! GRAB YOUR PARTNER AND TRY TO WIN! SO GO!" Denmark shouted into the bullhorn before grabbing Spain and running out of Mc Donald's.

The countries ran out with their respective partners and ran out.

THE NERF GUN WAR IS ON!

* * *

_"Oh this is comedy gold!"_

_"I know right. A Nerf gun war! These people are idiots!"_

_"Maybe they were dropped on their heads as children."_

_"Hahaha... ya and the passed off the fact that they were trapped. I mean who does that?!"_

_"Apparently these idiots!"_

* * *

**Review. I want my fans to choose who will win the war so review or PM me if ya have and idea because i sure dont!**

**Which**** pair will win?!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Next chapter.**

**Warnings: Orange juice, France, pillows ect...**

**I dont own Hetalia.**

* * *

Chapter 5: The battle begins

The nations ran and hid in some very... strange places.

.

**(With Hungary and Scotland)**

Scotland had no time to react before he was grabbed and dragged out of Mc Donald's.

He looked to see who grabbed him and saw that it was Hungary. Scotland knew that if he were to try to get away from her iron grip he would end up with a frying pan to the head.

He looked over to see where she was pulling him to.

THE GIRLS BATHROOM! Wtf!

Hungary pulled him inside before he could protest.

"Why are we in here!" Scotland said with slight surprise and awkwardness from being in the opposite genders bathroom.

"Well..." Hungary started after closing the door. "WE are going to win this and I'm going to beat Gilbert! And most of the competitors are guys. They would never come into the girls bathroom. There's only one other girl and Lilly is a sweety. If you try to get out of this I will kill you myself." She looked dead serious.

Great, Scotland was left with the frying pan wielding psycho.

.

**(With Estonia, Poland, and America)**

America ran off in some weird direction before Estonia and Poland could blink.

In fear of loosing there teammate they ran after him.

Thirty seconds later they found him climbing into the air duct system through a janitors closet.

"Come on dudes! Follow me!" America said excitedly.

"Do we have to go in there? My skirt will get, like, dirty and stuff!" Poland whined.

America grabbed his arm and pulled the blond into the large ducts. Estonia followed, having a bad feeling about this.

.

**(With China and Italy)**

"VE~ Come on China! We need to hide to win!" Italy chirped. He pulled onto China's sleeve.

"I know where we can Hide! YAY!" Italy tugged again.

China had no patience to deal with the Italian and followed wherever the brunet wanted to go.

Italy skipped off to the right while China tried to keep up.

They somehow ended up in the bedding department.

"What are we doing here, Aru?" China asked.

"Ve~ We are hiding!" Italy then dove into one of those strange box-like cages they kept pillows in and disappeared from sight.

China sighed and hid in next to Italy, out of sight.

.

**(With Denmark and Spain)**

"Umm... where do we hide?" Asked Denmark.

"I don't know. Lets just run in a random direction. Yes that will work!" Spain grinned and the two ran to their left.

Very soon they ended up in the cleaning supplies section.

"Well might as well hide here!" Spain cheered.

.

**(With Sealand and Prussia)**

"But~ Prussiaaaaaaaaa..." Sealand whined.

"No. The awesome me does not go into something as kiddie as the toy section!" Prussia declared.

"Butttttttttttttttttttttttttt t..." Sealand whined.

"No."

"Your as mean as jerk England." Sealand pouted and continued to whine about wanting to go to the toys section of the store.

The two were two busy fighting they didn't notice they had walked into a new aisle.

Prussia stopped and looked around himself. Thy were in the aisle where they sold mirrors. Along the sides were different shapes, styles, and sizes of mirrors. **(A/N Yes it is Ultra Mega Walmart! It can have anything!)**

.

**(With South Korea and Sweden)**

**"**YAY~ Da ze~" Korea cheered and ran over to Sweden. He was about to grope Sweden. That was before Sweden glared at him. Sweden's regular face is scary, but when he's glaring at you it's on a whole different level.

Korea whimpered and backed up.

"Okay no groping, da ze." Korea promised.

Sweden nodded and headed off into a random direction.

"Where are you going?" Korea asked.

"T' F'nd a pl'c' t' h'd'." (To find a place to hide.) Sweden said incoherently.

"Okay." Korea itched to grope something.

(A minuet later.)

Korea looked around where they were.

"Where are we?"

Sweden shrugged.

They were stuck. It looked as if they were in a giant maze made of windows and doors. **(A/N As I said Ultra Mega Walmart) **And the two seemed to be in the middle of it.

Korea took full advantage of the situation and began running around the strange maze. Singing the Mission Impossible theme song, much to the amusement of Sweden.

.

**(With France and Iceland)**

Iceland felt the hands slid themselves around his waist.

"Oh honhonhon... Does Icey need L'amour?" France purred in Iceland's ear.

"No." Iceland slipped out of France's wandering hands.

France mocked pain. "I'm 'urt."

"But..." He whispered seductively. "I know a place where we can 'ide." He winked.

In a flash France grabbed Iceland and ran forward for a specific destination.

.

**(With England and Cuba)**

"Would you like to choose where we hide?" Cuba asked England.

England looked over to the man with a cigar hanging from his lips. "As long as we're away from frog face I'm fine." England answered.

Cuba nodded. "The Library?"

"Sure." England and Cuba took a fast pace to the Library with in Walmart, that was tucked in the back corner of the store.

.

**(With Germany and Romano) **

Germany and Romano glared at each other.

"Potato Bastard." Romano lowly growled. "You are dead."

"Not if I kill you first." Germany pledged.

The two glared more.

"Sports section?" Romano asked.

"Ja." Germany agreed.

The pair headed off to the Sports section where they were going to bash each others heads in with bats and golf clubs.

.

**(With Switzerland and Turkey)**

"Need to shoot a certain American through the head. Got and problems with that?" Switzerland asked.

"No, as long as I can kill Greece after we kill America." Turkey answered.

Switzerland nodded and they walked forward in search of America.

.

**(With Estonia, Poland, and America)**

"Dudes the two minuets should be up now. We can shoot people!" America shouted at Estonia and Poland.

"Like, my clothing is getting wrinkled!" Poland complained.

"Dude or dudet, I don't know which one you are, we er-" America was cut off by a creaking and the air duct falling from under their combined weight.

The three landed in a pile on top of each other, in front of the frozen foods aisle.

America got himself untangled from Estonia and Poland and Estonia stepped off of Poland.

America bent down to wipe the dust off of his pants when a dart whizzed over his head.

The dart hit an orange juice bottle that was in one of the refrigerators. The door had opened when the air duct fell. The orange juice bottle the dart had hit was defaulty and caused the bottle the burst open and rain orange juice all over the nations in front of it.

America, Estonia, and Poland turned around in surprise to see who had shot at them.

There stood Turkey and Switzerland with their guns pointed blank.

The three nations had lost their Nerf guns in the fall and were defenseless.

* * *

**Review and vote for who ya want to win. **

**The current votes for each team is up on my profile. Vote for Estonia, America, and Poland if ya don't want them to be shot.**


	6. Chapter 6

**YAY!**

**Thalies fa ta reviews!**

**Warnings: The norm (Ya I know imma lazy)**

**I don't own Hetalia **

* * *

Chapter 6: The Battle Begins (Continued)

**(With all the idiots soaked in orange juice)**

Estonia, Poland, and America were frozen in place as Switzerland's finger hovered over the trigger of his Nerf gun.

At the last possible second a miracle happened.

Out of no where two people ran into Switzerland and Turkey.

"The hell!" Switzerland yelled as he fell to the ground.

There stood Germany and Romano they had weapons aimed at each other. Romano held a... flamethrower. Germany held a potato launcher.

The two fired at the same time at each other. The fire from the flamethrower scorched the potato and left the smell of potato fries in the air.

Germany and Romano glared at each other. If looks could kill their goals would have been completed then.

Estonia, Poland, and America saw this as a distraction and grabbed their guns before high-tailing it out of there.

Romano and Germany let another shot go. The shots collided again. Switzerland and Turkey decided to run after the trio before they got in the middle of Romano and Germany's brawl.

.

**(With Canada and** **Russia)**

"Come on Kanada. We need to hide, da?" Russia grinned, causing Canada to shrink back a bit.

Russia tugged in the leash before walking off in a direction. Canada followed behind.

"W-where are w-we g-going Ru-russia, e-eh?" Stuttered out Canada.

"Where we were before you ran into me." Russia's face broke out into a creepy smile. "Where the vodka is!"

Russia seemed giddy.

Canada just decided to go along with it. What else could he do, he was on a leash! And not to mention Russia is the one holding it!

"Here we are." Russia pulled Canada down next to him behind the rows of alcohol bottles.

The thing that freaked Canada out is Russia began to kol.

.

**(With Japan and Greece)**

"Greece-san where are we going to hide?" Japan asked Greece.

"I don't... know." He drawled. "Lets just... walk somewhere."

"Hai." Agreed Japan.

The two began walking off. To where they didn't know.

.

**(With Latvia and** **Liechtenstein) **

"M-Ms. L-Liechtenstein?" Latvia gently tugged on Liechtenstein's sleeve.

"Hmmm... Oh Latvia you don't have to call me that. Call me Lilly." She said with a smile.

"O-okay. Lilly. W-where do you w-want to h-hide?" Latvia trembled like normal.

"Well... How about the arts and crafts section that sounds fun!" Lilly began to skip off, Latvia close behind.

Once there the two dove into a gigantic tub of foam pieces to hide.

.

**(With Norway and Egypt)**

"No. We go left."

"Right."

"Left."

"Right."

"Left."

"Right."

Norway and Egypt had been 'fighting' about which direction they should go in. It wasn't really a fight. The two kept up their dry tones, going back and forth.

"Left."

"Right."

"Left."

"Right."

Soon the two minuets were up and they hadn't moved. At all.

"Left."

"Right."

"Left."

"Right."

.

**(With Switzerland and Turkey) **

Switzerland and Turkey had retreated from where Germany and Romano were currently fighting.

They had been heading towards the Mc Donald's to regroup. What they didn't expect was there to be the two montone nations fighting over whether to go right or left.

"They're real idiots aren't they?" Switzerland muttered to himself.

The two looked at each other and made a silent agreement.

Norway and Egypt had their backs to the two.

Turkey and Switzerland calmly walked up behind the two. They both raised their guns up so that their barrels were hovering just a centimeter away from Norway and Egypt's heads. The two montones did not notice this and kept fighting back and forth, unaware of the 'danger' they were in.

"Left."

"Right."

"How about we just shoot you?" Turkey smirked.

The fighting nations froze in place.

"You loose." Switzerland spoke.

Turkey shot Egypt while Switzerland shot Norway. The foam darts bounced off their heads.

"Damn." Norway cursed.

Egypt and Norway threw down their Nerf guns and stalked towards Pet Smart.

Switzerland and Turkey high-fived.

One team down. 13 teams left to go.

.

**(With Finland and Lithuania)**

"Come on Lithuania I know where we can hide!" Finland skipped down one of the aisles towards the back of the store.

"Where?" Lithuania asked, following.

"The Christmas aisle!" Finland grinned. "I am Santa after all."

"Okay..." Lithuania trailed off remembering how much the blond nation loved Christmas.

"We're here." Finland hoped up and down. He looked around. "There." Finland pointed at a large Santa's sack.

It was just one of those sacks that you see in pictures. A large red sack with gold trimming.

Finland hoped into it.

"What." Lithuania looked at the bag. A hand reached from inside and grabbed Lithuania's wrist pulling him in too.

.

* * *

_"Okay this is priceless!"_

_"How dumb can a group of people be?!"_

_"I don't know but these idiots need treatment!"_

_"It seems we found our new stars!"_

_"Ya this is the best thing ever."_

_"All the camera's were even in the air ducts so we got the indecent on tape!"_

_"Sweet!"_

* * *

**Review! And vote! Your vote does count! The standings are up on my profile!**


	7. Chapter 7

**HI! Sorry its a bit short...**

**Warnings: Doors, Windows, France...**

* * *

Chapter 7: Some Other Shit

**(With Hungary and Scotland)**

"Huh... looks like England and Cuba are heading towards the library. It should be an easy kill." Hungary grinned evilly.

Scotland shook his head. This girl is nuts.

Scotland was currently sitting on one of the sinks while Hungary peeked out the door of the bathroom.

"Come on!" Hungary turned around and grabbed Scotland's wrist before dragging him towards the library.

"Can I walk without you dragging me?" Scotland asked Hungary.

"Only if you keep up." Hungary dropped him on the floor.

"Psycho." Scotland murmured.

"What was that." Hungary turned around, frying pan in hand. You could practically see the intimidating aura around her.

"Nothing." Scotland said quickly.

Hungary gave him one last glare before strutting off.

Scotland reluctantly followed.

.

**(With Russia and Canada)**

"Why is little Matvey shaking?" Russia stopped koling to ask Canada.

"U-um Ru-russia y-your koling i-is scaring m-me, e-eh." Canada stuttered, afraid of offending Russia.

"Oh I scared little Kanada?" Russia grinned.

"U-um y-yes." Canada shrunk back, becoming afraid of Russia's smile.

**"**No need to be afraid. Mother Russia is nice." Russia smiled bigger. "Want to become one with Mother Russia?"

"E-eh." Canada squeaked in alarm.

"Does Matvey want to become one?" Russia asked leaning closer.

"U-uh... u-umm. N-non."

"Awwww..." Russia pouted.

The next thing they heard was the Mission Impossible theme song.

Canada and Russia looked over the vodka to see a weird maze made out of windows and doors. Korea seemed to be darting around.

"Yay! An easy target!" Russia grinned, getting over the fact that Canada didn't want to become one with him. "Kanada, shoot them."

"O-okay." Canada brought his N-strike Elite Retaliator up and carefully aimed. It took a bit longer than usual to aim due to the fact that Russia was practically breathing down his neck.

Once aimed Canada fired a shot and then quickly adjusted the gun to the right a little before firing another shot.

The first dart was shot at an angle and bounced off a window before bouncing off a door. It went straight through two windows and a door before hitting Korea on the side of the head.

The second shot whizzed off a door before hitting Sweden in the back.

Both of them turned around to see Russia and Canada crouched behind the vodka aisle.

Sweden sent a glare in their direction before waling off to Pet Smart, Korea close behind.

.

**(With France and Iceland) **

"First off. Get. Off. Of. Me. France." Iceland kicked France in his neither regions.

France, who had previously been pinning Iceland against the wall, fell to his knees, clutching his balls.

"Why did you do that?" France whined.

"Because I didn't want to get raped by some French idiot." Iceland retorted.

"Awww... but cher..." France pouted and got up.

"Why are we here?" Iceland asked, looking around.

The two were surrounded by a bunch of flowers and trees. It looked like a garden.

"Because the scenery is beautiful and artistic!" France spun in a circle.

Iceland shook his head in aspiration.

.

**(With England and Cuba)**

"Here we are." England looked at the books around them.

"Yep."

England's eyes widened. He ran over to one of the shelves.

"What is it?" Cuba walked over.

"YES! They have magic books!" England held up a book triumphantly.

Cuba looked to see it was called 'Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets'.

"Ooookay..." Cuba wondered what went on in the British man's mind.

.

**(With Hungary and Scotland) **

"There they are." Hungary pointed it the direction of Cuba and England.

Scotland looked at Hungary.

"So what are we going to do?" He asked.

"Kill them." Hungary answered.

"Can we just shoot them? Not kill them?" Scotland asked aspirated.

"Fine." Hungary glanced back at Cuba and England. "Lets get closer."

Scotland nodded.

The two moved behind a bookshelf about 5 feet behind the two.

Cuba wasn't an idiot. He had seen the edge of Hungary's skirt poke out from the side of the bookshelf.

"I can see you ya know?" Cuba spoke.

Hungary cursed.

She held murmured to Scotland. "Tree. Two. One."

On one the two came out of hiding and shot rapidly.

Cuba nor England saw this coming and got shot... They were out.

.

* * *

**"**We're already getting thirty thousand views!"

"This is making us so much money!"

* * *

**Review. Vote fa ya favorite team. Stats on me profile. **


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry i couldnt update last week i had a lot of school. A second chapter is being posted tamarrow. **

**Warnins: THe use**

**I dont own Hetalia**

* * *

Chapter 8:

**(With Germany and Romano) **

"DIE POTATO BASTARD!" Romano brought a bat down, aimed at Germany's head.

Germany brought up his tennis racket and blocked the blow. "Nein, you die!"

The two swung at each other.

The flamethrower and potato launcher had been broken from so much use. The two had moved on to sports equipment... they had already used tennis balls, golf clubs, basket balls, lacrosse sticks, bows and arrows, bowling balls, fishing poles, kites (Yes it is a sport), paddles, weights, ping pong balls, wickets, and batons. They had broke all of them.

All of the past 'weapons' lay scattered and broken around them.

The two battled back and fourth relentlessly. Neither was winning.

.

**(With Switzerland and** **Turkey)**

Switzerland and Turkey stalked through Walmart looking for either Greece or America.

They didn't find either.

"When are we going to find someone? This place is huge!" Turkey asks.

Switzerland shrugged. "I don't know."

The two heard a faint giggle coming from their left.

Turkey gestured to the direction the sound had come from.

Switzerland nodded.

The two walked cautiously.

They ended up in front of... pillows?

"Why are we in front of pillows?" Switzerland asked no one.

A giggle came from one of the stacks of pillows.

Switzerland and Turkey looked at each other. They both raised their guns.

"Come on out." Turkey commanded.

The two stacks of pillows began arguing back and fourth.

"Ve~ they'll shoot us!"

"I know that, aru!"

"We have to get out!"

"Okay, aru. We'll get out, aru."

The two figure stepped up with their hands raised.

"Ve~ Please don't kill us!" Italy begged. He then proceeded to wave a white flag.

Switzerland got bored and fired at China.

Due to Italy's flag waving his gun fell out of his hand and hit the floor. When it did it accidentally fired.

Turkey and China both were hit at the same time with the orange darts.

"How'd that even happen?!" Turkey looked to where he was shot in the chest.

"Damn we're out. At least we also got China out too."

The four of the not-so-happy nations made their way to Pet Smart.

.

**(With Sealand and Prussia) **

"Come onnnnnnnn!" Sealand whined and tugged on Prussia's sleeve. "I want to go somewhere else!"

Prussia was currently admiring his awesomeness in one of the many mirrors that lined the shelves.

"In a sec. How did my awesomeness even get stuck vith babysitting a kid like you?" Prussia pushed Sealand away.

Sealand pouted and crossed his arms. "I'm not a kid I'm a country!" He yelled at Prussia. He began punching Prussia's side rapidly in anger.

"Kid stop that it kinda hurts. For someone so unawesomely short your strong." Prussia pushed Sealand away again.

"No!" Sealand yelled, still mad. He then latched onto Prussia's leg.

"Let go you dwarf." Prussia tried kicking Sealand off, but it didn't work.

"Never!" Sealand yelled and held on even tighter.

.

**(With Finland and Lithuania) **

Lithuania sat next to Finland who was currently singing 'Jingle Bells'. Man the dude love Christmas.

That's really all that was happening with them... not very interesting...

.

**(Japan and Greece)**

"Greece-san?" Japan asked.

"...Yes?" Greece drawled, petting that cat in his arms.

"Where are we?" Japan looked around.

"Don't... know."

They stood in a very strange aisle. Fire extinguishers of every make, model, size, color, and shape lined the shelve around them. Who knew Americans would have something like it?

Greece flopped onto the floor in front of a bright green collection of fire extinguishers. "I'm going... to sleep." His head fell back and he began to snore softly.

Japan sighed and sat down next to him.

.

* * *

**Review. Vote, stats on profile.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry i was gone for a while! I was not dead! Well my spring break JUST started so everyday i am going to update this until spring break is over. Vote for your favorite teams by PM or reviewing and see who wins!**

**Warnings- usual**

**I dont own Hetalia**

* * *

Chapter 9: ...Poland is scary

**With Denmark and Spain-**

Denmark and Spain were walking out in plain sight. Ya know. Whenever you are in a Nerf Gun war just walk in the middle of the store. Its not like you will get shot! The idiots don't get sarcasm.

Anyways, they had gone past the phone section and were now walking down one of the many crafts aisles.

YAY! Arts and Crafts! All the pretty colours got Spain distracted and Denmark was holding a cordless hot glue gun.

Oh Dear no.

"What does this do?" Denmark held up a solidified glue stick.

Spain looked over. "I think that goes into the hole..." He pointed to the hot glue gun.

Denmark sniggered and made a 'that's what she said' joke under his break as he put the glue into the gun. "Now what do i do...?" He studied the gun.

"Oh. There is a trigger." Spain said.

And guess what Denmark did next? He pressed the trigger. Ya know, we were all expecting this.

"Cool!" Denmark shouted as the glue came out the tip. "I wonder what it feels like?"

He put his hand under the glue and grabbed it. A scream followed suit as he fell to the ground and shook his hand, trying to dry the glue.

.

**With Latvia and Liechtenstein-**

"L-lilly?" Latvia stuttered quietly.

"Yes?" Liechtenstein kept her voice low.

"W-we have a c-clear shot a-at them..." Latvia pointed at Spain and Denmark.

They had been in the aisle that the two smaller nations were also in. Latvia and Liechtenstein were still in the foam blocks and were peering over the side at the two.

"Yes!" Lilly replied. "We can show them!" She grinned at Latvia.

He gave a tentative smile back and they raised their Nerf Guns up. Latvia and Liechtenstein pulled the triggers and hit Spain square in the back.

Denmark and Spain turned around to see the two grinning over the coloured blocks.

"We are out~" Spain pouted. "Good shot!"

Latvia and Liechtenstein high-fived as Denmark and the skipping Spain headed for McDonald's.

**.**

**With Sealand and Prussia-  
**

"Mein awesomeness can't have you hanging off my leg!" Prussia shouted at Sealand.

"Noooooo!" Sealnd just clung tighter as Prussia grabbed onto him.

"Get off you twerp!" Prussia took a fistful of Sealand's hair and pilled.

"Owowowowowowowow!" Sealand clawed at Prussia's hands, successfully making deep scratch marks in the albino's skin.

"That hurt you fucking kid!" Prussia cradled his hands and blood dripped to the floor. "Gilbird! Help me!"

Sealand smirked triumphantly at his handiwork. "See! I am strong!" The younger nation began skipping around.

Prussia tried to case after him but only succeeded in tripping. Due to his horrible luck he knocked down some of the mirrors.

One mirror knocked down another and then another. It was like Dominoes as one after the other, mirrors crashed to the ground.

"Shit!" Prussia yelled and ran for his life, away from the shattering mirrors.

"Look what you did!" Sealand screamed at him as he chased after the red-eyed country.

.

**With Japan and Greece-**

Greece was sleeping and blissfully unaware of anything that was going on around him.

Japan, on the other hand, heard all the crashing and yelling going throughout the Walmart. Poor him.

.

**With France and Iceland- **

"Now would you like to 'ave some fun~?" France came a bit too close for Iceland's liking.

"No, I would no!" Iceland pushed away the Frenchman.

"Oh but I can give you amour~" France slid forward and tried to wrap his arms around the Icelandic.

"Stay away!" Mr. Puffin flew out and started pecking at France.

.

**With Estonia, Poland and America- **

"Dudes! Did you see that?!" America waved his hands in the air. "It was all bam and burning! But the hero wasn't afraid!..."

America continued to rant about the flaming potatoes that Romano and Germany had caused.

Poland was freaking out about his orange juice covered outfit.

"B-but it's ruined!" He wailed.

"Just calm down." Estonia was failing at calming down the crossdresser. How did Lithuania possible deal with this? Not to mention Poland was crying for him.

"I want Liet! He will help! He will help me get a new outfit and he can clean this one! All will be fine with Liet! Liet! Liet! Liet!" The male shook and clutched his skirt.

"Come on it is only girls clothes!" America had the audacity to intervene.

SNAP!

"WHAT DID YOU SAY!?" In a flash Poland had America pinned against the wall. "YOU DON'T DARE SAY THAT ABOUT CLOTHES!"

"W-wait hold on dude!" America held up his hands in defense. "It's only clothes, no big deal!"

It looked like Poland's eyes had turned red. "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! CLOTHES ARE SACRED! YOU SHOULD NOT SPEAK!"

Holy shit! DO NOT get Poland mad!

.

* * *

_WTF? _

_i don't get it either but still cracktastic!_

* * *

**_YAY! Just vote and stats are on me profile!_**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hiyya, like i said, vote and stats are on my profile.**

**Warnings- Prussia, and Finland**

**I dont own Hetalia**

* * *

Chapter 10: Food Fight

**With Finland and Lithuania- **

_CRASH!_

"What was that?" Finland looked over the top over the Santa bag, Lithuania soon followed.

"I don't know." Lithuania looked down the festive aisle.

"Hm... must have been nothing..." Finland shook hims head. "I must be hearing things" He smiled.

"Maybe..." Lithuania sighed and thought of how bad he felt for America and Estonia with Poland.

"GET BACK HERE!" Suddenly something darts into the aisle with another chasing it.

Oh wait! That's just Sealand, with a murderous Prussia out for blood.  
.

**With Sealand and Prussia-**

"GET BACK HERE!" Prussia howled angrily and chased after the very frightened Sealand.

No one messes with the AWESOME PRUSSIA! and gets away with it!

Prussia had his claws extended and everything! His eyes glowed and foam bubbled out of him mouth.

Prussia was in no mood to be fucked with.

"SAVE MEEEEEEEEEEE!" Sealand began crying and running in circles.

"YOU SHALL DIE!" You know those demons in the movies that are out for a kill? That is what Prussia looked like. Ahem, the AWESOME PRUSSIA.

"I DON'T WANNA DIE!" Sealand's hat came off on a turn and right into Prussia's path.

All you could see was shredded fabric as Prussia kept chasing him.

.

**With Finland and Lithuania- **

"Oh no! My child is in trouble! We have to help him, I am Santa after all!" Finland puffed out his chest and chased after the duo.

Lithuania reluctantly followed, not wanting to get in the middle of Prussia's rage.

When Finny and Liet turned the corner they did not expect this.

Sealand was hanging on a random flag pole by his underwear.

"Gah! THIS HURTS PRUSSIA!" Sealand cried.

Under the pole sat Prussia who, by the way, looked extremely amused.

"That's what you get, you twerp!" Prussia shouted at him, unaware of the fuming Finland behind him.

A low growl was emitted from the Finnish nation. His 'mother mode' had been activated.

_"WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY PETER!"_ He shrieked.

Lithuania hung off his and and tried to keep the man from killing the albino.

"What?" Prussia looked behind himself and pure fear took over his face.

Finland needed blood.

Lithuania feared for his life once again.

He grabbed the Nerf gun out of Finland's hand just as the nation broke free from his grasp. Finland pounced on Prussia.

"Oh no..." Lithuania murmured and held up the two Nerf Guns. "STOP FIGHTING!" He screamed at them before pulling the triggers.

One dart his Prussia.

One dart hit Finland.

"See now both of our teams are out!" Lithuania dropped the guns and walked towards McDonald's.

As if by magic Finland and Prussia stood up and shook hands. They followed Liet and totally forgot about Sealand.

.

**With... all the dumbass nations that got out, BTW that is in McDonald's- **

"Ve~ Where is Germany?" Italy pulled at China's ponytail.

"I don't know, aru."

"Ve~ But Germany!" Italy continued tugging.

"He is probably still in the game, aru!" China snapped at him.

"Ve~ B-but..." Italy began to cry.

"oh...Ita-" China was cut off when his chest was attacked.

"My breasts now Da zee~!" Korea shouted from behind him.

"Get off!" China pried the hands from his chest.

Sweden sat in the corner, waiting for his wife.

Turkey cursed out Greece while building a miniature Colosseum out of napkins and salt...? **(He is pretty strange for building something that was in Rome...)**

Egypt watched him.

England and Cuba were discussing.. stuff.

And Norway and Denmark were making out behind the counter.

All was well until someone threw a ketchup bottle.

Like WTF?!

Who even does that?

Well it sparked war! Not really but like a food fight.

Everyone was in on it, well 'cept for Norge and the Dane, you know what is going on there, but anyways!

Hamburgers fries, shakes, condiments, sugar, chicken, and all other McDonald's crap was thrown around. **(Okay i dont eat at McDonald's so...)**

This went on for 5 minutes.

In the end all the nations there were covered in fast food gooey mess.

Then Prussia walked in.

"YOU GUYS HAD A FOOD FIGHT WITHOUT ME?!" ... Really Prussia?\


	11. Chapter 11

**Hallo**

**Vote and stats on my profile**

**Warnings: France, Toni, Scotland**

**I dont own hetalia**

* * *

Chapter 11: stuff

**With Scotland and Hungary- **

"What the fuck do we do now?" Scotland leaned up against a bookcase and lit a cigarette.

Hungary simply glared at him. "No cussing or smoking!" She scolded before snatching the cancer stick from between his lips and crushing it under her foot.

"Aye bitc-" Before he could finish Hungary had already smashed his head in with her frying pan.

Scotland groaned from the floor.

"That's what you get." Hungary crossed her arms. A mad look crossed her features. "Lets go find and kill some other teams."

She strutted off, dragging Scotland behind her.

.

**With Germany and Romano- **

"Wait bastard!" Romano yelled at the German.

"Vhat is it Italian?"

Romano scowled at him and pointed to America's 'throne'. "Wanna have some fucking fun, bastard?" Romano held up his pitchfork.

Germany contemplated this as he scanned the American-made monstrosity. "Vell I suppose ve could take some time off of killing each other."

Romano smirked. "What the hell are we waiting for then?"

Germany pulled out his pistol and took aim.

Romano continually stabbed the throne.

Germany began beating it with a broken bat.

Romano pulled out a lighter an finally set the entire thing on fire.

Both grinned like idiots and high-fived.

That didn't last long though because they went at each other's necks again.

.

**With Russia and Canada- **

"Matvey is a good boy Da?" Russia petted Canada's head.

"E-eh?" Canada clutched the Nerf Gun and looked up at Russia.

"Matvey shoots well." Russia smiled creepy-like.

"M-merci" Matt shrunk down.

"Now lets go kill, kolkolkolkolkolkolkol..." Russia looked delighted at his idea. "Fun da?"

"K-kill eh!" Canada squeaked and worried for the lives of others.

"Does Matvey no like my idea?" Russia looked at Canada, confused.

"..." Now poor Canada feared for his own life.

.

**With Icey and France-**

"France!" Iceland feebly pushed he older man's chest.

"Oh but Icey~" France purred and moved to slid his hands under Iceland's shirt. "It won't hurt."

Puffin was passed out on the ground.

"Get off!" Iceland pushed harder and caught France off guard.

He ducked away and tripped France before running away.

France crashed into a very large pot, causing it to knock over and make a very large smashing sound.

.

**With** **Scotland and Hungary-**

"Oh great." Scotland moaned and looked to Hungary. "Where the fu-" Scotland stopped himself at Hungary's glare.

"We are looking for teams to kill." Was her answer.

_SMASHES SMASHEY SMASH~! A POT OVER HERE JUST SMASHED~!_

"I heard a pot smash this way" Hungary ran off.

"Well no shit Sherlock." Scotland muttered. He followed the crazed woman.

He found her crouching by a plant.

"What the hell are you doing?" Scotland questioned.

"SHHH" She pulled him down next to her. "France." She whispered sharply.

Hungary lined up a shot at his head. Scotland just hoped that she didn't have bullets in her Nerf Gun. The woman was out for blood like most else. Oh great, she was going to kill him.

Just imagine Scotland's relief when a dart came out instead of a bullet.

Well France was out.

.

**With the people at McDonald's**-

"Wait," Prussia looked at the nations in McDonald's. "Weren't the people that got out supposed to go to Pet Smart?" He cocked his head to the side.

"Well..." South Korea paused. "Toni visited..."

"Who?" Prussia looked to Finland to see if he knew.

Finland shrugged.

"Tell the awesome me!" Prussia demanded.

"Well we were annoying him by letting all of the animals out of their cages." Korea started. "Then they all got loose and so Toni decided to give us minute warning before he blew up Pet Smart -no animals were harmed- and so we relocated here."

"Ve~ Why are you here Prussia?" Italy looked at him.

"The awesome me wanted a big Mac!" He demanded.

"GET A ROOM!" Was yelled from the left.

Everyone looked to see Icey go into his emo corner. He had walked in and seen his brother and Denmark making out. Oh great.

.

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**HALLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOO**


	12. Chapter 12

**Well being the idiot i am i was watching Cry Plays... and then remembered i hadent written this yet... *Feacepalms* Well this took me 30 minutes...**

**Warnings- ,... Russia i guess**

**I dont own Hetalia**

**Vote for your favorite team**

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Chapter 12: ... um... i donno

**With Hungary and Scotland- **

"You are crazy" Scotland deadpanned.

Hungary hit him with her frying pan.

"Fuck." Scotland cradled his head. "That hurt."

"It was meant to." Hungary hit him again.

"I hate that pan"

Hungary held the pan out. "My pan hates you too."

"Since when does a pan feel?" Scotland looked at the pan with distaste.

"He can!" Hungary defended and hugged her frying pan.

"Since when is it a he?! It has no dick." Scotland stood up only to be hit again with Hungary's frying pan.

"You are going to hurt his feelings." She turned on her heel and walked away once again.

"Oh great." Scotland sighed and followed her.

.

**With Japan and Greece- **

"Greece-san?" Japan gently tapped Greece's shoulder.

He stirred slightly.

Japan tried again. "Greece-san?"

"What...?" Greece drawled.

"Shouldn't we be fighting?" Japan politely asked.

"I... don't feel like... it..." Greece yawned and pet the cat on his head.

"But, we are playing in the war right?" Japan looked towards the other aisles. "Like this we are going to be caught and shot."

"I want... to sleep..." Greece then passed out again.

.

**With Estonia, Poland and America- **

"Shit dude!" America struggled against Poland's grasp.

_"NOT UNTIL YOU APOLOGIZE TO THE CLOTHES!" _Poland's voice came out low and demonic.

"I-i'm sorry clothes!" America wailed.

Poland switched back to normal and let America go. "Good. Now I need to find a new skirt!"

Poland skipped off, leaving a dazed America and shocked Estonia.

"What just happened?" Estonia pushed up his glassez. You know with a z because Estonia is that awesome.

"I have no idea dude." America sunk to the ground. "What the fuck happened to Poland? One second he was worrying about his clothing and then the next he goes all murderous!"

"Strange." Estonia agreed.

"Not cool dude!"

Estonia looked in the direction that Poland left in. "We might as well go after him."

.

**With Latvia and Liechtenstein- **

"Hey Latvia?"

Latvia turned to Lilly. "Y-yes?"

"Should we go and see if we can get any other teams out?" Liechtenstein questioned.

"W-well we could." Latvia replied.

"Yay!" Liechtenstein smiled. "Where should we head?"

Latvia paused and thought. "W-we could go to t-to aisle 20."

"What is aisle 20?" Lilly cocked her head to the side.

"I-i donno." Latvia shrugged.

-time skip 5 minutes at aisle 20-

"Th-this is a fire extinguisher aisle?" Latvia hid behind a rather large extinguisher. Lilly crouched next to him.

"Seems like it, Japan and Greece are here." Liechtenstein looked at the two.

Latvia nodded and tapped his Nerf Gun.

Lilly nodded.

They raised their Nerf Guns and aimed. Carefully avoiding the cats of course. They fired.

Japan and Greece were out.

.

**With Canada and Russia- **

"U-um..." Canada looked away from Russia.

"No matter da? Matvey can help me kill other teams." Russia smiled before throwing Canada over his shoulder and walking off.

They ended up in the cooking section for some unknown reason.

Russia had a meat knife in his hand and looked a lot more than scary. Canada shivered and backed up a bit.

"Aw it shouldn't have a gender!" They heard a distinct Scottish voice complain.

Russia pushed poor Matt down and hid behind an oven. "Shoot him da?"

"B-but I can't sh-shoot my own uncle, e-eh!" Canada pleaded.

"Fine then da? I will." Russia took the Nerf gun from Canada's hands and held it up. "Over here Scotland~" Russia called before Koling.

As soon and Scotland turned around he got a face full of darts.

"Shit Russia!" He was knocked out by a frying pan.

.

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**rEview**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hallo... Like before Vote and stats on my profile~**

**Warnings- Muffin Man**

**I dont own hetalia or Angry Birds**

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Chapter 13:

**Off in a far off universe that makes all the Walmart's of the world- **

"THEY ARE DESTROYING ULTRA MEGA WALMART!" Frezark yelled at his companion.

"Toni, that traitor! He blew up the Pet Smart!" Kowalski stressed.

The aliens freaked out over their beloved Walmart being messed up and destroyed by the nations.

"We have to do something!" Frezark yelled again.

"WE HAVE TO ATTACK!" Kowalski decided.

"Yes!" Frezark agreed.

They headed to confront the nations. It would take 4 hours to get there though.

.

**With Russia and Canada- **

"I-i can believe you d-did that, e-eh?" Canada stuttered as he stared at Russia in shock.

"It had to be done da?" Russia smiled.

"B-but that was my un-uncle, eh?!" Canada meekly tried to get the Nerf Gun back.

"Nyet Matvey, It wasn't" Russia held the Gun high above his head.

"C-come on, e-eh" Canada jumped to reach his gun to no avail.

"Matvey is small da?" Russia chuckled at the display.

"N-non, Russie." Matt reached again for his Nerf Gun.

"Nyet, Nyet little Matvey" Russia teased.

Matt grumbled in annoyance and pulled out his hockey stick. Shit was going down.

Canada took a swing at Russia's head but the nation ducked and parried the blow with the Nerf Gun.

Russia darted forwards but Canada had speed on his side and slid to the left before bringing his hockey stick down to hit Russia. Russia batted the stick aside with some strength and threw Canada ever so slightly off balance. With this small opening, Russia dropped the Gun far away and pulled out his pipe to swing. Canada had milliseconds to block Russia's strength and gain the upper hand.

.

**With Estonia Poland and America- **

"I want this skirt~! Wait no this one is sooo posh~" Poland cooed over the array of clothing.

The bright colours threatened to blind Estonia.

Estonia set his face in his hand. Oh great.

America had tied a blanket around his neck and was claiming that he was Superman.

Estonia had a growing migraine by now and had locked himself inside one of the changing rooms.

.

**With Germany and Romano-**

Romano had already set flames to many other places in Walmart.

Romano was standing atop a tower of toilet paper. Being all Romano and such he yelled some obscene words at Germany before dumping glitter all over the German. "HAVE FUN WITH YOU FUCKING SPARKLE PARTY BASTARDO!"

"Get down here and fight!" Germany pulled out a confetti launcher.

"HOLY SHIT!" Romano jumped down and ran."GET AWAY BASTARD!"

How the fuck did the other teams not notice a frigging war going on between Romano and Germany?! IT WAS PRETTY HARD TO MISS!

They ran like that for a while.

Both attacking each other but never landing a blow.

Awwwwwww.

But then all of a sudden the Muffin Man jumped out from the fridge section where they keep the milk.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Germany and Romano scream.

Automatically the duo ran for their lives.

The Muffin Man pursued them. "EAT MY MUFFINS!" He screamed.

Holy fuck, shit just went down.

.

**With The Muffin Man-**

The Muffin Man was hanging out in a random fridge playing Angry Birds.

"Oh man! Not the constipation bird!" The Muffin Man yelled at the screen.

He played some more on his phone. "You tricky little...!" He huffed in annoyance.

Oh the poor Muffin Man.

"Why can't I beat this level!" The Muffin Man hit his head on the door.

Suddenly he saw two men walk by and decided to treat them to some of his Muffins.

They ended up running from him.

The Muffin Man was lonely so he chased after them.

All he wanted was to feed them muffins.

What was wrong with that?

.

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**Review, The Muffin Man idea was from my friend Camey-rin!**


	14. Chapter 14

**I was out of town and out of internet so i could only post today, sorry**

**Warnings- death**

**I dont own hetalia**

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Chapter 14: Death of the Muffin man

**With Russia and Canada- **

"Get back here Matvey~!" Russia cooed.

Jumping off of a rack of blankets, Canada brought his hockey stick down at Russia from behind.

Russia ducked down and clashed Canada's stick with his pipe. "Try again comrade."

Try again he did. Canada swung again.

Randomly Germany and Romano ran by. They were followed by the Muffin Man who, unlucky, came into contact with Canada's hockey stick. He immediately fell to the ground.

"Wh-what?" Canada snapped out of his rage and looked at who he hit. "O-oh..."

"Who is that da?" Russia looked over Matt's shoulder.

"I-I don't kn-know but I th-think I killed h-him..." Canada looked worriedly at the Muffin Man.

"What were we doing?" Russia questioned.

"I d-don't know."

.

**With Germany and Romano- **

"Are we still being followed bastard?" Romano panted.

Germany looked behind themselves. "Nein"

"Where the fuck did he go?" Romano scowled and stood up.

"Don't know." Germany scanned around.

"Did we just run past the vodka bastard and pancake bastard?"

"Pancake bastard?" Germany was confused.

Romano growled. "Our weapons are gone!"

Germany felt the urge to growl too. Those were the only weapons that haven't broke yet! Ya, that is the center of your problems. Not like the Muffin Man was just killed.

.

**With Latvia and Liechtenstein- **

"Wh-where to next L-Lilly?" Latvia asked.

"Well we could walk around until we find someone." Liechtenstein proposed.

"O-okay" Latvia followed her.

.

**With Estonia Poland and America- **

While Estonia tried to get his sanity back, America was wearing tights and 'flying' around. Fuck, I just gave all the America fangirls something to fantasize didn't I? I will now go hide.

Poland was skipping around, in a new outfit, singing. Who knew that he could sing?

Well off of that, the three didn't know that they were being stalked.

Latvia and Liechtenstein were hiding behind a clothes rack.

How did the idiots not see the two?!

Well whatever. Lilly and Latvia, being the ninjas they are, shot America, causing him the fall down and fake being dead.

They killed Superman!

We can forgive them though.

.

**With... um the Muffin Man?- **

He lied there.

The light leaving his eyes.

Oh the poor Muffin Man.

Only wanting people to have him Muffins.

Was it just me or did that sound wrong? Whatever.

Canada had killed him.

In cold blood, wait, Canada is too innocent.

Blame it on...GLOBAL WARMING! Yes everyone blames stuff on global warming!

So Global Warming killed the Muffin Man.

He was just playing Angry Bird before chasing Roma and Germany. He did nothing wrong.

Still, he was killed.

So sad to go.

The life drained out of him as darkness over took the last of him.

The Muffin Man became crumbs then and there.

And as we all know, I cannot rhyme so this is not a Nursery story.

If it was then... I just fucked up some poor child's mind.

Now off of my horribly killing the Muffin Man.

.

**With The people in McDonald's- **

Norge was still making out with Denmark. How the fuck can they hold their breath that long?!

Egypt was playing Temple Run.

England was reading Harry Potter.

Cuba was eating McDonald's ice cream.

South Korea was... ahem... 'claiming China's breasts'.

Sweden was watching(Stalking) his wife.

Switzerland was trying to shoot Italy.

Turkey was still building the Colosseum. I have no idea why.

Spain was hanging out with France.

Icey was in a corner, mentally traumatized.

Scotland was getting a taste of Hungary's frying pan.

Greece was asleep.

Japan was watching him.

.

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**Review... also... i havea feeling that i am going too far with this and might change the rating... if you think so than tell me and i will, cuz i killed the Muffin Man for fucks sake**


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